IN ASSEMBLY

On Monday and Tuesday of this week, Mrs Barkham gave a presentation on International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. Inviting us to pause for a moment, Mrs Barkham asked us to think what it would be like if all the women we know went on strike? As we did this, Mrs Barkham told us about the women of Iceland who, on 24 October 1975, went on strike for 24 hours in protest at the lack of respect, equality and legislation to protect their rights. Aiming to show that their absence from society mattered, Iceland ground to a halt that day as 25,000 women took to the streets in peaceful protest. This was an impressive number as the population was only 250,000! Mrs Barkham told us that the protest made a difference because new legislation was passed and in November 1980 Vigdis Finnbogadottir, a divorced single mother, became Europe’s first female president and the first woman in the world to be democratically elected as head of state.

Mrs Barkham told us that taking a stand for the rights of women and girls was, and is, not always safe as was the case on 25 November 1960 in the Dominican Republic when three of the Mirabal sisters were murdered for campaigning against dictator Trujillo’s regime. The murder of the three Mirabal sisters sparked a national and global outrage. Dede Mirabal, the surviving sister, dedicated her life to continuing their work. As a result, and in their honour, the United Nations General Assembly designated 25 November as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

Mrs Barkham told us that in around the time taken to deliver this assembly – 10 minutes – a woman will be killed as a result of gender-based violence. In 2023 for at least 51,000 women, the cycle of gender-based violence ended with one final and brutal act – their murder by a partner or a family member. This data, according to the UN, equates to 1 woman dying every 10 minutes. Globally almost 1 in 3 women have been subjected to gender-based violence and / or harassment at least once in their life.

Mrs Barkham told us that violence against women and girls can manifest in many different forms such as:

Partner violence, such as coercive control.
Sexual violence and harassment such as rape, forced sexual acts, unwanted sexual advances, child sexual abuse, forced marriage, street harassment, stalking and cyber- harassment.
Human trafficking such as slavery, sexual exploitation.
Female genital mutilation; and
Child marriage.

On this last point of child marriage, Mrs Barkham told us that, just last month, Amnesty International reported that Iraqi lawmakers are debating to amend the current Personal Status Law. If these changes are passed, the age of marriage could be lowered to as low as 9 years old and rights for divorced girls and women could be removed. Instead, Amnesty International calls on Iraq to change its current laws which fail to criminalize marital rape and allow “honour” to be used as a mitigating circumstance in the murder of women and girls. With this in mind, we very much need this national day.

Mrs Barkham asked ‘what can we do?’ Acknowledging that we are not world leaders – yet - Mrs Barkham said that we can start to make small changes that can have a significant impact. Violence against women and girls can often start with sexist and misogynist language, gender-based microaggressions and failing to stand up for injustice when we see and hear it. All of these actions devalue women and girls and can act as a gateway to more aggressive, sometimes fatal acts of violence. Consider the following: do we tell a woman or girl to “just smile” when they are distressed? Do we tell a victim of theft they were “asking for it” when their phone is stolen? After all, they were advertising wealth thus inviting crime. Do we treat victims of sexual violence the same as we treat victims of other crimes? Do we tell “blonde jokes”? Do we think “women are just not as funny as men”? Do we feel shame about natural bodily and hormonal occurrences women and girls experience such as periods, child-birth and menopause? If so, why? Are we scared of being labelled “hysterical”?

Mrs Barkham asked if we have ever been told to sit up straight, smile or be more “ladylike” and she asked if we have ever challenged toxic femininity and the dated societal expectation of women to be fragile, pure and needing to be saved? Do we, consciously or subconsciously fall prey to “pretty privilege” whereby we treat women and girls differently based on how attractive they are or how they present themselves?

Of course, we are not yet law makers – yet – however, we can start with standing up for our sisters, using our words wisely and acting collaboratively with increased compassion.

Mrs Barkham told us that next term, she hoped many of us will join the Queenswood Feminist Society to discuss these matters further and take action.

Reminding us of the amazing achievement of Vigdis, Mrs Barkham told us of an Icelandic saying: “The steps so quickly fill up with snow” meaning there is a tendency for events to be consigned to history. If we cannot see things, they are not there, buried. As such, Mrs Barkham encouraged us to let the rights, safety and happiness of women and girls never be buried, to be the change we wish to see in the world and, always, to stand up for our sisters.

Reverend Kate prayed:

God of love.
Help us to dig out the roots of gender-based violence and discrimination and inspire us to break down the structures that silence and disempower women.

May those in power recognise their responsibilities to support survivors and may you show us how to amplify the voices of women and girls speaking up for change.

Fill us with determination as we seek to renew our world.
May we see a day when every girl will be free to flourish and know life in all its fullness.
Amen

ACT OF WORSHIP: God’s unshakeable hope can change your life

For our Act of Worship, we sang the Christmas Carol that was voted by students to be number 2 in our Christmas Carol hit parade: Away in a Manger. Eva B (9H) and Arabella H (8H) then read from Saint Paul’s letter to the Romans 5:1-5.

Reverend Kate said that figuring out who we are in the midst of the pressures we face can sometimes feel overwhelming and so she wondered what we would think if she told us that there is something that can carry us through even the toughest days; something that isn’t just wishful thinking, but is unshakeable and life-changing. Reverend Kate said that she wasn’t talking about social media validation, romantic relationships or the latest beauty treatment; but was talking about hope which is what Saint Paul’s letter to the Romans gives us; hope which comes from God with whom we find peace and by whom we are ‘justified by faith’, which simply means to be made right with God because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

Reverend Kate told us that Saint Paul writes that in the struggles of our life it is possible to ‘glory in our sufferings’ which does not mean that God is asking us to enjoy any difficult challenges we might experience, but asking us to understand that there is a purpose to be found in everything hence Saint Paul’s words: ‘Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope’.

Reverend Kate asked us to think about this like training for a sport. The first day of practice might leave us exhausted but, over time, we build strength and endurance. The challenges we face in life are like this – they build resilience in us. Every time we push through a tough time, it shapes who we are and can make us stronger, wiser and kinder and when we see how God brings us through these challenges, our hope in God can only grow as we begin to trust that no matter what comes our way, God is faithful and won’t let us down.

Reverend Kate gave us three ways to allow this hope to change our life:

The first way is that when we feel anxious about the future, we are to remember that God has a plan for us, and it’s a good one. As such, we can trust God with our dreams, our fears, and our future.

The second way is that when we are going through a hard time, we are to know that God can use even the toughest situations to build something beautiful in our life. As such, our struggles don’t define us; they refine us.

The third way is when we are tempted to give up, we are to let hope be our anchor: God sees us, loves us, and is with us. We are stronger than we think because we have God who is always for us.

Reverend Kate gave us one final thought: the extent to which we can be hopeful is not based on our performance, our popularity or our circumstances; it is based on the unchanging love of God which can carry us through every phase of our life.

So, we are to hold on to this hope and let it remind us of who we are and whose we are.

Reverend Kate prayed:

Loving God,
Thank you for the hope we have in you.
Help us to know that in our struggles you are with each of us, shaping us and building our character.
Fill our hearts with hope so that we can become beacons of hope to others.
Amen.