At Queenswood, we have seen how resilience has helped students embrace new challenges and meet their goals. Every bit of positive action taken is one step closer to success.

Emotional resilience is a trait that is both innate and learned. More importantly, as discussed in a recent blog, it is strongly correlated with success. Here are 12 of the qualities most associated with emotional resilience. 

1. Flexibility in Perspective

Those with flexibility in perspective can accept and learn from their mistakes. They see themselves not as victims but as individuals who have control over their destiny.  Those who have made the greatest contributions to society have been the artists, scientists and businessmen who have failed the most.

2. Optimism

Emotional resilience goes hand in hand with optimism. Optimistic individuals can shift from a victim mentality to one of empowerment. Positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman states, “Optimistic people tend to interpret troubles as transient, controllable and specific…in other words, …surmountable, temporary. Pessimists believe troubles last forever, undermine everything they do and are uncontrollable…troubles are pervasive, permanent and personal.”

3. Creativity

Taking the time to create is something that we can control. In the process, our perspective shifts; this is a key ingredient to increasing our resilience to any struggle.  Also, those who create art (in a variety of forms) practise the innovation of ideas and problem-solving skills.

4. Gratitude

Gratitude is another type of perspective that the resilient tend to possess. Gratitude keeps us from catastrophizing when there isn’t a serious problem and helps us to proactively cope when there is a serious problem. It’s also been associated with less anxiety and depression in a study published in Clinical Psychology Review entitled ‘Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration’.

5. Spirituality

 “I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining.

I believe in love even though I don’t feel it.

I believe in God, even when he is silent.”

A Holocaust victim engraved these words onto a wall at a concentration camp. Recently, it was quoted in an article in the Daily Telegraph, which discussed ceremonies at the Auschwitz Liberation Memorial this week. 

There is a strong correlation with resilience in people who are spiritual. This can simply mean committing to something bigger than oneself; whether it’s our deepest held beliefs or our universal values. 

6. Regular Sleeping and Eating Patterns

Those who are resilient tend to eat healthy foods and get substantial sleep regularly. This improves resilience by strengthening physical and emotional health. 

7. Emotional Awareness

‘Know Thyself’ was carved at the temple of Apollo, the God of Reason. The phrase is generally attributed to Socrates, a figure known for his great intellect. What do reason and wisdom have to do with self-knowledge? Research shows that the answer is everything. 

Knowing how you are feeling and why helps you relate to others. This, in turn, strengthens relationships and social supports. It is critical for academic interviews, job promotions and successful family life.  

Emotional awareness is a trait that top athletes have in common. Teacher and psychologist Marc Smith wrote in a Guardian article that ‘The difference is that top athletes are often as familiar with their mental states as they are with their physical capabilities’.

8. Create time for Exercise and Relaxation

When you schedule exercise and relaxation, you are more likely to do it. This is important as regular exercise and periods of relaxation are associated with people who are emotionally resilient.

9. Solution Oriented

Those who are solution oriented feel that they have more control over their lives. This provides the confidence to bounce back in the face of adversity and struggle.

10. Perseverance

Those who persevere are diligent; they don’t give up easily. In Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Outliers, he states that the reason The Beatles were so ‘talented’ was because they practiced more than any of their peers at the time.  For example, as teenagers, The Beatles were offered a gig in Hamburg to play 5–7 hour live performances, seven days per week. This opportunity (and the fact that they followed through with the arrangement diligently) gave The Beatles a substantial competitive edge.

11. Sense of Humour

Studies show that smiling and laughing has psychological benefits. Physically, this applies even when we are simply going through the motions. An article in the health archive, The Atlantic, elaborates on the science of smiling by stating that ‘…smiling, by activation of the smile muscle, would initiate a feedback loop to the brain, activating our happy part of the brain, contributing to a more positive mood and more smiling’.

Furthermore, when we treat events and setbacks with a lighter touch, we tend to have a relaxed approach that enables us to see ‘failures’ as ‘challenges’. 

12. Strong Social Networks

One of the ways in which to cope with stress is to have a strong support team, which can include friends, family members, and mentors. Those who draw strength from the helpful, caring people in their life are better able to deal with difficult situations.